Your first date with that person has been going so smooth, it just might be a total success. The conversation and drinks are flowing, the food is great, you both look good, no red flags are coming up for you. It’s nothing but vibes until the waiter turns up with the bill and there’s an awkward pause.. Who should pay the bill?
Back then, when social norms were very much, “the man is always the provider or breadwinner”, there would be no question of who pays the bill because it would always be “the man”. Now, things have changed and this conversation could be sensitive.
No need to worry though, we got you. Here are a few options you should consider when it comes to paying the bill.
The person who initiates the first date, pays the bill. Whether you’re a man or woman, whoever asked the other out, should go ahead and cover the bill.
This takes away all heteronormative standards and diminishes the potential awkward silence while waiting to see who pulls out their card. However, this could come with some drawbacks. For instance, it could create an expectation that whoever asks for the date continues to pay for all future dates (especially, if they are the one who initiates…). In this case, possibly having a conversation about what’s best for both of you, taking all things into consideration, could help both of you get on the same page, where you can possibly take turns paying for future dates.
Another option would be to split the bill on the first date. This option seems like an unproblematic, fair option. It also shows that each person is willing to put some level of investment into the budding relationship other than their undivided attention. On the other hand, most may say that this is the undesirable option. For some, it may seem like a tasteless option and may come across like the person who suggests splitting the bill may not be into the other in a romantic way. Some say that with this option, it doesn’t equate to a romantic date and more of a friend date.
The rule of who pays the bill will always remain a conversation that isn’t black or white. However, there are definitely ways that could help eliminate the awkwardness after an amazing date.
1. Bring it up in the conversation beforehand.
Figure out between the both of you, who would pay
for this first date and you can then figure out how to go about future dates, if there are any.
2. Choose a low cost first date.
Dates can be expensive which could very well be adding to the awkwardness of deciding who’s paying at the end of one. So, to alleviate some of the stress and awkwardness, maybe choose a low budget date to start off, for example, going to the movies or maybe an intimate sunset watching with a bottle of wine. You can always go on a more expensive date in the future.
Ultimately, it’s up to you and your date to decide which option suits you both. The question of who pays the bill on the first date will always be a tricky one but hopefully these options give you a little more perspective and ease, so the vibes on a good date never end.
