Relationships come in all forms, and in all states. The healthy ones are there, but they’re sometimes harder to come by. They’re also easier to pinpoint, so how do you know if
you’re in a toxic relationship? What signs point to you or your partner being absolutely horrid? How can you escape or fix your relationship?
First, you look for the signs.
- Are you possessive? Is your partner possessive? Does he/she often keep you from friends and family? Does he/she often dictate who you can, or can’t interact with?
- Are they abusive? Abuse doesn’t only mean physical abuse. Abuse can be both physical and emotional. If you’re walking on eggshells or if you’re tense or stressed, your partner may be abusing you emotionally.
- Is there dishonesty? Lying is a basic human instinct that some of the best people try to avoid. But constant lying is a sign that your partner has little to no respect for your feelings or your relationship. Dishonesty can be a root to other things, like cheating and theft.
- Do you communicate with your partner? The basis of any relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic is healthy communication between the parties. The only way anything can be done or fixed, is if both of you have a constant and proactive flow of communication. Does your partner talk to you?
- He/She takes but doesn’t give. All take and no give is a clear cut sign of toxicity. In any relationship, there needs to be a balance. There needs to be equal share in all aspects and if your partner gladly takes everything you give; attention, affection, money, and doesn’t give anything in return, something needs to change.
- Any form of disrespect without remorse is a sign of a toxic relationship. When he/she doesn’t value your time, keeps “forgetting” important events, snaps at you in public or places blame on you where there shouldn’t be, it screams toxic.
There are so many more signs of what a toxic relationship can look like, but the above list is an example of the few things you should look out for. We’ve heard it before; the girl (and sometimes the guy) refuses to leave because he/she hopes their partner will one day learn to love them the way they should be loved.
It’s happened. Some relationships have gone through the test of time to come out on the other side a winner. But how can you save your relationship? Is it worth saving?
- Toxic relationships are more often than not, a result of toxic people. Both parties must want to make the relationship work, for there to be any kind of progress in rebuilding the relationship.
- Admitting to any past wrongdoings personally that might’ve harmed your relationship.
- Both parties must be open to getting help from others. Someone on the outside might see where the problem is, and might be able to find an unbiased and progressive solution.
- Have patience, make the time and practice diligence when trying to fix your relationship.
There are some relationships that are worth fighting for, and some that are infinitely doomed from its inception. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but your motivation for wanting to stay with a partner who doesn’t treat you right, must be because you believe rehabilitation is possible and that you deeply care for your partner. Fear of being single or fear of what the other person might do or say is at the top of the list of reasons staying is a bad idea. For some people, counselors and therapists work. For others, all it takes is sheer will and determination. Either way, you have two options; fix it or leave.
Ask yourself, are you in a healthy relationship? If not, is it worth fixing?
